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But after she died, we were all too heartbroken to keep the tradition going. We just couldn't. 2015, 2016, and 2017 passed, all without a family get together other than Miles's first birthday. But this Christmas, 2018, Aunt decided that we were going to get together again.
My brother only had Miles for Christmas every other year, and this year he would get to spend Christmas with him. The plan was to get to Pennsylvania early enough to see him open his presents that Santa brought on Christmas morning. Then that weekend, we would all drive to New Jersey to spend the day at Aunt's celebrating together.
We were very fortunate to still have Joshua, and since so many people in my family knew and loved Bram, we invited him too. His parents had their Christmas celebration on December 24, and late Christmas Eve, we drove down in two cars: Tiernen, Joshua, Bram, and I in one car; Darryl and our two dogs (Nox and Zephyr) in the other. Tiernen's best friend Zach agreed to come over during the week to change the litter boxes and feed our six (that's right, six) cats.
The ride down was, in a word, hell.
We didn't leave until it was dark because Bram was having his holiday with his family and because we wanted Joshua to be tired and sleep all the way down. Joshua was a terrible rider. He hated it. According to his mother, this was from birth. He literally would scream even on the shortest rides. It didn't matter if there was another person in the backseat with him, whether it was day or night, whether we played music, gave him toys, provided snacks, the poor baby was miserable.
Bram, on the other hand, is a fabulous rider, but he was set off by Joshua. Within ten minutes from our house, Joshua was screaming and nothing could soothe him. Did I mention that my brother lives four-and-a-half hours away? Joshua was overtired and wanted to sleep but could not. He screamed. He howled. He begged me to pick him up, "up, Mama, up!" over and over and over again. His screams upset Bram and Bram was screaming too. I put on soothing lullabies and told myself they would fall asleep... eventually.
By the time we got to Syracuse, about 45 minutes away, it started to snow. This is nothing new. We live in Central New York. It snows. I have an SUV. Darryl drives a Subaru. We are equipped for snow. Still, driving in a snowstorm is no fun and is often nervewracking. Snowstorms coupled with two screaming toddlers is a recipe for a nervous breakdown.
Tiernen's nerves were shot and she wasn't even driving. Her freak out was only adding to my freak out, and so at one point I pulled over and told her to go into Darryl's car.
Now I was alone.
With two screaming toddlers
In a snowstorm.
Listening to soothing lullaby music.
Trying desperately not to fall asleep.
I hated Darryl so much for NOT having to experience this, that I wanted to punch him in the dick. And, not one to hide my feelings, I told him as much. Repeatedly.
The four-and-a-half-hour ride took about six-and-a-half-hours. The boys screamed for roughly half of his. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING ON THIS AT ALL. We had to drive super slowly because of the crap road conditions.
We got in roughly three o'clock in the morning at which point I had to pee so badly there were points on the trip where I seriously thought, "fuck it, I'm just going to pee myself. The seats are leather. Easy cleanup, right?" By the time the boys finally did fall asleep, I was PETRIFIED that if we stopped at a rest stop they would wake up and the cycle would begin all over again.
My brother was not home but had left me his key. I bolted up the stairs to the bathroom while Darryl let the dogs out and Tiernen stayed with the sleeping boys in the car. Bladder empty, I went to help them bring all our luggage (two toddlers require a LOT of luggage for a week) and the sleeping boys into the house.
As soon as we got inside, Bram and Joshua immediately woke up. They were not crying (thank God) but they were ABSOLUTELY AWAKE. They had napped for three hours in the car, and they were excited to be in a new place with a huge ten-foot Christmas tree and all of Miles's toys. I was ready to pass out.
Tiernen retreated to the guest bedroom in the loft, and Darryl and I changed diapers, made bottles, and climbed into my brother's kingsized bed with both babies and both dogs (boys in the middle, dogs at our feet). There was plenty of room, but after they drained their bottles, they decided that rolling over one another and us would be great fun.
This went on for hours. I don't know how long, but I remember daylight creeping in through my brother's heavy curtains.
They finally settled down, but then Bram started having night-terrors and waking up Joshua. Bram thought this was only fair since Joshua had kept him up for so long with his screams.
I don't know how much sleep Darryl or I got that night, but before I knew it, my brother texted me and said that they were on their way home from New Jersey with Miles so he could open his presents.
Merry Christmas.
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