Benched...

 The first thing you need to know is this:  I love my house.

The second thing you need to know is this:  if I'm home longer than 16 consecutive hours, I get cabin fever.  

I've always been this way.  When Tiernen was little and I had no money, I would drive to the beach, take her to a movie, hang out in the park all day, check out a museum...  

I don't think twice about getting in my car and just going away for the weekend.  Because I've lived all over the damn place, I have friends and family in New Jersey, Maine, Florida, California, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, Washington DC... Sure, having dogs can put a crimp in my "just go" lifestyle, but it still really never stopped me.

You know what does though:  being a foster parent.

It isn't that I wouldn't happily take a foster or two (or three or four) on my weekend adventures; it's that I can't.  In order to take a foster child out of the state, you need permission.  And sometimes that takes a long time!

Example:  last August, I put in a request to take the three kids (Rhys, Waverly, and Baby Chicken) to New Jersey to spend Thanksgiving with my brother and his family.  For weeks, my (future) sister-in-law was asking if I'd heard anything because she needed to make sure she had enough food for six more of us.  

I wasn't able to give her an answer until the Tuesday BEFORE Thanksgiving.  I wish I were exaggerating about this.

In the four and a half years that we've been taking placements, we have never been told that we couldn't take kids out of the state, even if it took a long ass time to get permission.  I don't know how I got so lucky with Bram, but the Agency AND Bram's parents let me take him out of the state to Pennsylvania to see my nephew whenever I wanted.  I would go every three weeks or so.  That freedom has not been the case since.

In the summer, I work for Upward Bound, where I have worked for the past 11 years.  On weekends, Darryl and I pack as much vacation into them as possible.  New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maine... as much as possible! We had (HAD) three out-of-state trips planned (including hotels reserved and kennels paid for) for June and July to see friends and family in Maine and New Jersey.

Except last week in court, Baby Chicken's mom said we can no longer take her out of state because, and I quote, "The baby doesn't need to get to know my family."  Ummm.  I took the baby out of state at least five times with permission over the past ten months, and now suddenly its an issue.  

Not cool.

I have no legal recourse.

I spoke to the mother and asked, begged, and she said sorry, but no.  I explained that I would have to put the baby in respite with a stranger (another foster parent), and mom did not budge.

So, like any good mom (foster or otherwise), I canceled our trips.  I am sad.  The people we were visiting are sad.  I'm angry.  I'm disappointed.  I feel like it was out of spite.  And still, there is nothing I can do.

So, the Nix family is benched for the summer.  

It won't stop our adventures though.  They will just have to be in New York State since I can legally go anywhere in the state without penalty.

Feel free to leave suggestions of MUST see places in New York for kids under 5.