Freed for Adoption

 Today, after returning from court, I posted on my Facebook page that Waverly is officially FREED FOR ADOPTION!

Those who were in the know (aka other foster parents) said they were happy for us.  Most of the rest of the comments were just congratulations, which is of course lovely, but I don't know if they really understood what that means.

Let me break it down.

Reunification

When a child is in foster care, there are several different outcomes.  The first (and obviously most desired) is that the child is reunified with his/her parent(s) because whatever caused the child to enter into foster care has been rectified.  Parents and children continue to get a variety of supports, and in a perfect situation, the foster parent remains a resource and continues to act as a support for the family.

Kinship Placement

Sometimes if a child in foster care cannot be reunited with his/her parent, the parent (or sometimes the agencies involved) will find a relative who is willing and able to step up and take up the role of primary caretaker.  This could be a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, or even a distant relative. Kinship placement is like... foster care "Lite" because the goal is still often for the child to be sent back to the parent.  Kinship families still have the same supports and resources as foster parents, but the difference is that there is a biological connection. The child may have known the kinship relative or not, but either way, it is considered the next best option because family is involved.

Adoption

If the courts, after whatever amount of time they deem necessary, decide that the child cannot be sent back to his/her parents, then the child is placed for adoption.  Please know that adoption is NEVER the primary goal for foster care, and placing a child up for adoption is a long, long process.

Sometimes when biological parents realize that it is looking like the child will not be returned to them, their lawyers and caseworkers may advise that the parents surrender their child, effectively agreeing to put them up for adoption.

Surrender

When a parent surrenders their child, s/he can place conditions on these surrenders.  The standard, at least in New York State, is four visits a year with the child and at least two "school picture" quality photos a year.  It is the bio parent's responsibility to keep the adoptive parents up-to-date with their current address and contact information.  Some bio parents will stipulate more visits or video chats in addition to the four visits.  This varies from case to case.

In order to have a visit with the child, the bio parent must contact the adoptive parent in writing at least 30 days in advance.  If a bio misses or fails to schedule two consecutive visits, the agreement is null and void and the bio parents' rights are terminated and cannot be renegotiated.  

Termination of Parental Rights (TPR)

Sometimes bio parents, regardless of conversations with their lawyers and case planners, do not want to surrender their rights (understandable), but the courts do not feel that the parent can effectively parent and/or too much time has elapsed since the child was in foster care.

At that point, the attorney for DSS/CPS will submit paperwork asking the court to terminate the parent's rights.  There is a trial and both sides present evidence about why and why not the parent's rights should be terminated.  If the court does indeed terminate the parent's rights, then the parent has nine months to petition the court.  During that time, the child remains in foster care.

Note: the parent's situation AFTER TPR is filed has no bearing on the case.  It is only the parent's actions PRIOR to TPR that are considered.

If the parent's rights are terminated, the parent has no contact or visitation.

Being Freed for Adoption

After a bio parent's rights are terminated, through TPR or through surrender, then the child is listed as FREED FOR ADOPTION.  Foster parents have the first opportunity to adopt, but if they don't want to, then the child can be adopted by other people.

Here's the kicker though... after a child is freed for adoption, it doesn't mean the child IS adopted.  It can take anywhere from 12-24 months for the actual adoption to take place.

And this is where we are.  Both kids are freed for adoption... it has been eight months still our son was freed for adoption.  Even though our lawyer submitted the paperwork eight months ago, we are in a state of limbo.

Our goal was to adopt our little guy by the time he started kindergarten.  That is four months away and it's not looking good.

Darryl said our new goal is "before he starts college."

He's only partially joking.