Visitation

Unlike Bram, who saw his parents all the time, Baby O and W did not.  It was my understanding that their mother was in jail, and although The Agency will bring foster children to the jail to visit their children, I don't think she ever requested it.

It had been determined through a DNA test that W and Baby O did not share the same father, and their mother either did not know or did not disclose who Baby O's father was.  (um...)

W, however, did know his father and had lived with him at least for the first year of his life.  He had visited him, apparently, on and off over his two years in foster care.  About a month after the boys were placed with me, I was told that two times a week, for two hours, we would be required to drive W to his father's apartment where we would be met by a case aid who would supervise the visits.  

When I was working, this meant that Tiernen had to bring both boys, drop off W, drive home with Baby O, wait, and then drive Baby O back to pick up W.  It made napping and lunchtimes a nightmare because it was different times on different days.  Some days it would be canceled and rescheduled for other days and other times.

At least once a week, W's father would call The Agency and cancel.  This was rough because W was well aware of it.  He would get excited for the visits.  His father would make elaborate plans like picnics in the park and zoo visits...and then would cancel.  

W would cry each and every time, and then I would feel so guilty, I would go out of my way to make it up to him.  I would take him out, just the two of us, get ice cream, buy a toy, let him watch an extra 30 minutes of TV...

Still, according to the case planner, dad was doing "very well," and "complying" with everything The Agency wanted him to do.  

Huh?

He couldn't keep two appointments a week with his child.  That's doing well?  That's complying?

The truth is, the bar is very low when it comes to bio parents, at least in this case.  It didn't matter that dad tested dirty for drugs last week;  this week he was clean:  hurrah!

I just didn't get it.

I was almost relieved that Baby O was too young to realize that there were no visits for him.  At the same time, it was heartbreaking that there were no visits for him.

Then I was told that since grandma would be taking them soon, she would be having weekly visits to get to know the boys.  

It happened once.