Foster Classes

I'm pretty sure I was the only one there without a spouse.  

Everywhere I looked: couples.

Immediately I saw them as potential rivals.  Clearly THEIRS would be a more suitable home than mine would be.  They weren't pierced and tattooed and wearing all black.  The women looked either young and maternal or uber grandmotherly.  Many were stay-at-home moms or had family close by who would happily watch the new member of the family.

Where the hell would I fit in to that equation?  My daughter was away at school and my husband was working out of town most weeks.  I was really  -- for all intents and purposes -- single working mother, even if I wasn't on paper.

I was made to fill out more paperwork than I did to get my mortgage.  

I had to send my daughter forms at school to fill out that asked her how she would feel with a new brother or sister in the house.  She was instructed to "draw a picture" if she was too young to write.  She responded with, "I am old enough to BE a foster parent. I do not see this as getting a new brother or sister."

Since my husband was away for work, I had to interview him over the phone.  Instead of having conversations about our marriage or the house or bills, I asked him and dutifully recorded his responses to thought-provoking questions like, "how did your family celebrate holidays growing up?"  He was disinterested and told me he didn't remember and to just write down anything which made me angry.

I was asked to describe my ideal foster child.  

I wrote:  a baby.

I was asked to describe what he or she looked like.  

I wrote:  human.

I was told that since I had such rigid requirements (a baby, human, under 18 months) that I would probably have to wait a long, long time to get a placement.   I was encouraged to be open to different age groups like teenagers and sibling sets.  I said that unless the teenager wanted to be swaddled and given a bottle, that probably wouldn't work for me.