Tiernen's Birthday

All dressed up for Tiernen's birthday!

Unlike our experience with Baby O, Bram's case planner was at our hour that Monday, asking how he was doing, inventorying his clothes, etc.  She told us she didn't know much about his parents' situation, but that she was going to be in contact with his mom soon.  She asked if it was okay to share our phone number with Bram's parents.  I said it was.

During foster class, they really stressed how important it was for foster parents to get along well with the foster child's parents.  I agreed that it was very, very important, but unfortunately, with Baby O, I didn't have the chance!  

The case planner said she would set up a time for Bram's mom and I to meet and talk and that a neutral party (not her) would facilitate the conversation.  I was okay with it all.

Our first week with Bram was blissful.  He was a wonderful baby but he spit up A LOT.  Baby O was a moderate spitter-upper and Tiernen had done her fair share during her first year, but this little boy was a champion.  We went through so many changes of clothes with him and so many bibs that I simply could not keep up with his laundry.  I ended up buying (literally) 40 bibs so he would always have clean ones.  That usually got me through five days, tops.

After we had Bram a week, it was Tiernen's birthday.  We had made reservations a month earlier to take her to a fancy restaurant.  We were still going to go... just now with Bram in tow.  

While we were driving there, I got a text message from Bram's mom.  She introduced herself, was desperate to know how her baby was doing, and asked if we could talk.  I explained I would be happy to talk, but we were headed out to dinner.  I asked if 9 PM was too late to call back.  She said it wasn't.  

Bram slept all through dinner, which was surprising because it was HOT in the restaurant.  At one point, I brought him into the lobby just to get some fresh air.  One older woman smiled at me and said, "what a good grandma."


Grandma!!!

Do I look that old?

Talk about instant depression!

As soon as we got out of the restaurant, I called Erin, Bram's mom, back.  My heart instantly broke for her.  She was so desperate to know how her little guy was doing.  As I chatted with her, I sent her all the pictures that I had taken over the week.

She explained to me that she had called the authorities ON HERSELF!  She had been struggling with addiction for several years, but was clean during her pregnancy.  When her dear friend died of an overdose, she spiraled back into using again.  She realized instantly that she was doing the wrong thing and called out for help.  Unfortunately, part of that help was the authorities taking Bram from her.  

I was simultaneously so sad and so impressed by this woman.  I knew right then and there that she was going to make it, she was going to get clean, she was going to get her life together and get her son back.

I told her we were calling him Bram and asked if it was okay.  She said it was and that she liked it.  

To this day, she and her family call him Bram.