News from the Case Planner

One week and one day after Baby O came into our lives, his case planner (finally) called us.  I assumed it was to (finally) arrange a visit, see how the baby was doing, connect with us, etc.  Such was not the case.

Instead, she called to tell me that on Monday, just three short days away, Baby O would be moving to another foster house who was willing to take his other two brothers.  

It is important to note:  we were never asked, not once, whether we would take both brothers.  We were not given time to consider it.  We were simply not asked.

She told me that he was going to "an experienced foster family" who had "been with The Agency a long time."  (I later learned that she and her husband had been with The Agency exactly a year longer than I had.)

She told me what time to drop him off, to bring his things, and thanked me for my service to children in the community.

Stunned?  Shocked?  Those aren't even the words I can use to describe what I was feeling.  I always knew that Baby O would leave us, but I didn't realize he was staying for only TEN DAYS.  I had waited for so long and had grown so attached to this little boy in that time and now he was leaving?  How could this be?

It would have been one thing if I knew he was GOING HOME. If he was GOING HOME then I could make myself feel better knowing that I had helped this little boy and this family get over a difficult time in their lives and that they would go forward stronger as a result of what I had done.  But no, this child was STILL going to be in foster care... just not with me.

I closed my eyes and held him close and wept into his curly locks.

Nothing anyone said could console me.  More than one person suggested that I wasn't cut out for foster care because I was too sensitive.  (I hate when people say that, like sensitivity is a bad thing!)  That made me angry and firmed up my backbone.  I was committed to being a great foster mother, no matter how short the time was, dammit!

I loved Baby O as fiercely as I could over those next three days, but man oh man, did it hurt.