The Child Care Dilemma

Fun on the carousel

One of the most-often-repeated questions I am asked is what I do with the baby when I am at work (for that matter, what does ANY foster parent do when she or he is at work?)

I don't know of many families who can afford to have one parent stay home.  They do exist, but I've never been one of them.

And really, the answer is the same as any parent:  you find childcare.

If your child is school-aged, you send them to school, maybe camp in the summer.  If your job doesn't coincide with those hours, perhaps you find before or after school care.  Many schools offer these options.

Some people are lucky and have family close by who are so thrilled by the addition of the foster child, and so they happily take on grandparent or uncle or aunt roles.  My closest relative is about four hours away (and he works full time, so he couldn't have helped me anyway).  When Tiernen was a baby, I was still in college.  Her father and I used to make our class schedules and literally pass her off with a diaper bag in the hallway.  I didn't have family to help us, but I did have a gaggle of friends who were more than happy to lend a hand.  

In Utica, I am not blessed with as tight a community as I was in college (are any of us?  Cue I Wish I Could Go Back to College).  

During foster class, we were told that the county would pay for child care.  Sounds good, right?  What they didn't tell you want that infant child care is very, very, very (did I mention very?) hard to come by (read:  impossible).  I cannot tell you the number of places I called that told me that I should have put my name on the waiting list when I was pregnant.  This is obviously a problem when you are dealing with foster care since 24 hours notice is usually the MOST you get.  

Thank God for Tiernen.

Some back story:  Tiernen spent her first few years post high school at a community college.  When she transferred to a four-year university, she was considered a senior and only had to be there for three semesters (plus a class).  Because of when it was offered, she ended up taking that one class that summer instead, so she had that whole semester at home.  While it was a huge transition for her (who wants to be home after living away?) it was a tremendous help for us.  She watched Bram full time while we were at work.

I would come home on my lunch break to spend time with Bram and to give Tiernen the chance to take a shower (anyone with a small baby knows that "me time" is impossible when you have a little one).  Once I was home from school, it was tag, you're it, and I was on.  It worked out well and she got the practical hands on experience she never got as an only child.  Plus, we paid her (win-win)!

She even took Bram to swimming class on weekends

Spending all that time with littles also gave her a revelation:  she knew she wanted to work with younger children.  She always knew she wanted to work with children, but now instead of going into art therapy for graduate school, she decided on early childhood education.

Being a full time caretaker gave her the focus she was looking for.

Another plus!