Glorified Babysitter

When we first started this whole foster care process (I say "we," but really, it was me... I decided I was going to do this and then asked my husband and daughter what they thought about the whole thing), I was very clear that I was not looking to adopt.

There were several couples in our foster class that were looking to go the foster-to-adopt route.  Just in case you aren't sure of the difference, let me clear things up for you.

When a child is put into foster care, it means that at that point in time that Child Protective Services came into the picture, mom or dad or both were unable to care for the child to CPS's standards.  It doesn't mean that said parents were terrible people.  It CERTAINLY does not mean that they did not love their child.  They did not want their child to be put into foster care.  The decision was taken OUT of their hands and CPS, acting in what they felt was the best interest of the child at that moment in time, put the child into their custody.

In about 90% of the cases, the child is returned to his or her family.  The times this takes varies.  

The federal "rule" (and this is a LOOSE rule) is that if a child is in foster care for 15 out of 22 months (it does not have to be consecutive) then the court files TPR or termination of parental rights.  At that time, the child is then freed for adoption.

In VERY, VERY rare cases, the parents decide to relinquish their rights to the child and then the child is freed for adoption, but that isn't the norm.

Like I said, most kids go back home.

I am asked VERY often if I am adopting my current foster son, and when I respond that he isn't adoptable, the response is shock.  I don't think the majority of the public understands that foster care does not mean caring for children that are up for adoption.

I guess the confusion comes because if you "foster" a puppy or a kitten, that means that the puppy or kitten doesn't have a forever home and is waiting to be adopted.  This isn't the case with foster children.

Foster dogs = no home & adoptable

Foster kids = have a home & aren't adoptable (unless the court steps in 

and that is a long, long process)

To put it in the easiest terms possible, think of this:  being a foster parent is like being a babysitter.  You wouldn't ask a babysitter, "Oh, are you going to adopt her?"  

Being a foster parent is a glorified babysitter who is "paid" about $.75/hour ... and has no idea when the parents are coming home.